Loving The Person You Find Hard
The command nobody wants.
On loving people who have not earned it.
The big idea
Jesus reserved his hardest command for the person you least want to be gracious to.
Opening scripture
“But I tell you: love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you.”
What does “Loving The Person You Find Hard” walk through?
Love Your Enemies
Matthew 5:44 · KJV
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
In plain English
But I tell you: love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you.
Pray For Them Specifically
Jesus attaches an action to the feeling. It is very hard to keep despising someone you are genuinely praying for, which may be most of the point.
As You Would Want
Luke 6:31 · KJV
And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
In plain English
Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is a simple guide for relationships.
“Loving someone difficult does not require liking them. It requires deciding about them.”
Put Bitterness Away
Ephesians 4:31 · KJV
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
In plain English
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, shouting and slander, along with every kind of malice.
Bitterness Costs You More
Resentment is carried entirely by the person holding it. The other party usually feels nothing at all.
Forgiving As You Were Forgiven
Ephesians 4:32 · KJV
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
In plain English
Be kind and tender-hearted with each other, forgiving one another just as God forgave you in Christ.
Pray
Jesus, I do not want to pray for them. Help me anyway. Amen.
Write it down
Who is God asking you to pray for that you would rather avoid?
Pray once
One honest prayer for the person you find hardest.
Which passages does this journey use?
4 passages, drawn from Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:31, Ephesians 4:31, Ephesians 4:32. Every verse appears here in the King James text with a plain-English line beside it, so you can read it without a commentary open. Allow about 7 minutes for the whole thing, or 8 short sittings.
- Matthew 5:44
- Luke 6:31
- Ephesians 4:31
- Ephesians 4:32
Read any of these in full on the complete KJV, or look the wording up independently at Blue Letter Bible.
More in Relationships
All Relationships →Choosing Your Circle
You become the room you stand in.
When A Friendship Ends
Grief nobody throws you a funeral for.
Being The Only Christian In The Group
Faithful without being obnoxious.
Loving Your Siblings
The people you did not choose.
When Home Is Hard
For anyone whose house is not a refuge.
Honoring Parents You Disagree With
Respect that is not agreement.