Kindness in Conflict
Disagreeing without dehumanizing.
How to fight without breaking the relationship.
The big idea
You can be right and still be unkind. The first cancels the second.
What does “Kindness in Conflict” walk through?
Be Kind
Ephesians 4:32 · KJV
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
In plain English
Be kind to each other. Tenderhearted. Forgiving — the way God has forgiven you.
Hold Both
You can disagree fiercely AND treat the person with full dignity. Most people pick one. The kingdom move is both. Truth without kindness is brutality. Kindness without truth is cowardice. Hold both.
As Much as Possible
Romans 12:18 · KJV
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
In plain English
As much as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
“Being right is cheap. Being kind costs something. Pay it.”
Practice
Next time you're in conflict: separate the issue from the person. Attack the problem, never the person. Listen first. Speak last. The relationship is more valuable than the win.
Pray
Lord, give me the discipline to be kind even when I'm right. Especially when I'm right. Don't let me trade a relationship for a victory.
Write it down
Who's a person you've been winning arguments with but losing the relationship? What would kindness look like there?
You finished: Kindness in Conflict
Win the person, not the argument. The argument fades. The relationship lasts.
Which passages does this journey use?
2 passages, drawn from Ephesians 4:32, Romans 12:18. Every verse appears here in the King James text with a plain-English line beside it, so you can read it without a commentary open. Allow about 5 minutes for the whole thing, or 6 short sittings.
- Ephesians 4:32
- Romans 12:18
Read any of these in full on the complete KJV, or look the wording up independently at Blue Letter Bible.
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